Japan, You’re Doing It Wrong
A while back I posted about Japan’s Resolution To Declining Birth Rate where the image of humping cows was being proposed as a savior to Japan’s low fertility rate and a possible answer to their population problem. Japan’s declining birth rate is a serious problem with even a Japanese term invented for the situation – shoshika – meaning ‘a society without children’.
“Drink milk. Hussle! Hussle! We are taking the declining birth rate problem very seriously” the Japan Agriculture (JA) billboard advertisement (below) promoted. I am not sure however if Japanese dairy farmers were implying that milk will act as an aphrodisiac or the image of two cows humping is the inspiration that will propel the Japanese race into a bovine-fueled bonk fest frenzy that will save the race from annulment. Hopefully the milk they are suggesting to drink is not human breast milk as demonstrated in the Megmilk commercial mash-up featuring cow print bikini-clad anime girls being harvested, like cattle, for their milk.
But it got me wondering. This is a society that is not afraid of celebrating the phallus to the extent that it hosts annual penis-venerating fertility festivals that involve public observances of phallic processions and penis parades. Could it be that the declining birth rate is just because they are doing it wrong?
In the image below (talk about wear ‘n tear!), I’m not sure if it is obvious or not but, the artificial penis-shaped aid is facing the wrong way. I can only imagine that the batteries for that thing would cost her a fortune!
Or maybe she is just signalling her interest and it’s the boys that have to step up but they are too busy having picnics in the park with their love dolls.
Or maybe the fellas are content just obsessing over their favourite AKB48 idols.
Or maybe dudes are happy just to hang out with their otaku mates snuggled up to their favourite pillow-shaped comic idol characters at mai waifu slumber parties.
Or maybe guys are too enamored having candlelit dinners with their waifu pillows. I’ve seen enough hentai to see where this is going.
Or maybe lads are too infatuated with their unrequited on-screen lovers. It seems that Dell monitors are now using scratch and sniff technology.
Whatever the reason these mofo’s seem to be missing the opportunity to save their country from a baby bust by not grabbing the bull by the horns – so to speak. Instead chicks are forced to look elsewhere and, as the picture below indicates, thrust into the arms of a phallic-looking Darth Vader.