Japan, You’re Doing It Wrong
A while back I posted about Japan’s Resolution To Declining Birth Rate where the image of humping cows was being proposed as a savior to Japan’s low fertility rate and a possible answer to their population problem. Japan’s declining birth rate is a serious problem with even a Japanese term invented for the situation – shoshika – meaning ‘a society without children’.
“Drink milk. Hussle! Hussle! We are taking the declining birth rate problem very seriously” the Japan Agriculture (JA) billboard advertisement (below) promoted. I am not sure however if Japanese dairy farmers were implying that milk will act as an aphrodisiac or the image of two cows humping is the inspiration that will propel the Japanese race into a bovine-fueled bonk fest frenzy that will save the race from annulment. Hopefully the milk they are suggesting to drink is not human breast milk as demonstrated in the Megmilk commercial mash-up featuring cow print bikini-clad anime girls being harvested, like cattle, for their milk.
But it got me wondering. This is a society that is not afraid of celebrating the phallus to the extent that it hosts annual penis-venerating fertility festivals that involve public observances of phallic processions and penis parades. Could it be that the declining birth rate is just because they are doing it wrong?
In the image below (talk about wear ‘n tear!), I’m not sure if it is obvious or not but, the artificial penis-shaped aid is facing the wrong way. I can only imagine that the batteries for that thing would cost her a fortune!
Or maybe she is just signalling her interest and it’s the boys that have to step up but they are too busy having picnics in the park with their love dolls.
Or maybe the fellas are content just obsessing over their favourite AKB48 idols.
Or maybe dudes are happy just to hang out with their otaku mates snuggled up to their favourite pillow-shaped comic idol characters at mai waifu slumber parties.
Or maybe guys are too enamored having candlelit dinners with their waifu pillows. I’ve seen enough hentai to see where this is going.
Or maybe lads are too infatuated with their unrequited on-screen lovers. It seems that Dell monitors are now using scratch and sniff technology.
Whatever the reason these mofo’s seem to be missing the opportunity to save their country from a baby bust by not grabbing the bull by the horns – so to speak. Instead chicks are forced to look elsewhere and, as the picture below indicates, thrust into the arms of a phallic-looking Darth Vader.
Japan’s Resolution To Declining Birth Rate
Hentai Milking Meganekko
Top 10 Oppai Seijin
The Face Slimmer
Hitler Rants About His Investment In Japan
I would enjoy teaching that girl the proper way to receive the penis.
For the betterment of this country of course
A selfless offering sacrificing your own interest for the greater good. You’re good like that.
Alas,
Some of my greatest sacrifices in life will go unnoticed.
I must learn to live with that.
Someday japan will make a festival in your honor where grand symbols of your sacrifice will be honored and smaller versions sold as souvenirs by vendors lol
That girl on the pillow doesn’t look happy at all. You know shit’s bad when the otaku guys who design those things can’t even bring to mind the image of what a happy girl looks like…
Very true Billy, I never even noticed. Either that or she doesn’t like peperoni pizza.
lol It must be the pizza…or the fact the guys still haven’t bought them a ring
lol I think you have a sound thesis here…would make a great book!
cheers for that loco. i just need to wedge in a couple of bar graphs and line charts and my dissertation will be complete.
…you wanna wedge your bar in a line and you’ll be complete???
scotty, the king of innuendo. why don’t you go shove a bar in-your-endo like this pie chart:
Dude you’re the king of internet searches to find this stuff lmao
*cough* that isn’t AKB48 the otaku’s making love to *cough*
It’s Morning Musume member Yaguchi Mari (A good chunk of the pictures on the floor are of yaguchi. Just a few aren’t.)
Damn… you mean I failed the otaku test, Britt? Thanks for the correction.
Welcome back from your hiatus! Ha ha, I was missing my weekly fill of Lonelee Planet.
Man, you know I am sharing this post. This is hilarious. Any person that gives me a frown for saying Japanese men are weird, I will tell them to read this post.
I can’t believe the money they spend to live in this fantasy world when there are so many amazing looking Japanese women who want a man. You would think that they would finally step up and say, “F–k these social taboos we have adhered ourselves to, I am going up to that girl on the train and getting her number.”
Cheers for dropping in Fidel. It’s good to be back!
Your comment reminded me of scene in the movie The Matrix where Neo awakens from his womb-like battery pod where he was being harvested for his body heat. Give these J-guys the red pill, I say, and show them how deep the rabbit-hole goes!
Hahahaha, phallic Darth Vader.
“bovine-fueled bonk fest frenzy” pffffffffffffffffft~~ How is that poster helping anything???
Well if Japan needs some men to step up to the plate and get those buns in the ovens, I’m up for the challenge!!!
Well if Japan needs some men to step up to the plate and get those buns in the ovens, I’m up for the challenge!!!
Such a selfless offer AG. You’re good like that.
This has to be one of the funniest post in here!
Hey man, you alive??
Still kickin’ mate! How you doin’? Its been a while.
Phew! Glad for that! It has been a while! Got some fresh running legs?